


Slow Circles (or, my life in HTTYD characters)

by aea2o5



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Inspired by Music, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-07-28 19:54:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7654534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aea2o5/pseuds/aea2o5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III is a somewhat invisible young man, and his somewhat strange ideas about many things has not done anything to improve his situation. He feels alone in the world, surrounded by people he knows but who don't know him. He wishes for someone to 'save' him, but nobody comes forward, and all his attempts end in failure. In the midst of all this failure, he notices himself drifting closer to a certain girl, in body and mind...</p><p>Astrid Hofferson is a popular girl, with a promising future ahead of her. What nobody realizes is that she doesn't want it. She doesn't want the attention, and certainly not all of the guys hitting on her all the time. She is, however, drawn to the one boy who doesn't even talk to her if he can avoid it...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sophomore Year Begins (or, we meet the most important people)

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So, besides this being my first published story, there are a few things I would like to make clear:  
> Firstly, I will not be updating this on any sort of schedule. My writer's block is insane, and I can be inspired to write two paragraphs, and then never want to work on the piece again for months.  
> Secondly, this will most likely end up throwing characters way out of character, because this is basically a life story with important people switched out for certain beloved characters.  
> And thirdly, there may be some accidental copyright infringement with song lyrics. I obviously do not own the rights to any of the songs that may or may not be sung in this story. You have been warned...
> 
> That being said, thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Inspiring Song: "Dream Lover" by Bobby Darin

He was the only one who never talked to her. Well, not exactly. He did if he had to, but only when it was absolutely necessary. The difference was that while almost every other guy would talk to her just to be close to her for as long as they could, he didn’t. He didn’t brush up against her in the hallways simply to cop a feel if he could. Of course, he wasn’t that courteous to her alone. He acted that way around every single female he saw. If she had to take a guess, she would say that Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III knew something about being a female – or the female condition, at least – and that made him act differently than the rest of the idiot males. If she allowed herself to think about it, she might even think that there may be some sort of attraction towards him that she held. However, she did not permit herself to entertain such thoughts. He was a nobody, essentially. As far as she knew, he had no friends, and certainly no future prospects.

She was wrong, of course. Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III was a most intelligent young man, one who was bound to go far, wherever life may take him. This was all far away from the minds of our young people, however. They were just starting their sophomore year at high school, and the future had yet to reach them.

On the other hand, she would have been right to guess that Hiccup knew something about the female condition. He had no females in his life whatsoever: his mother had died when he was young, and he had never wasted time chasing girls as he grew older, choosing instead to focus on his schoolwork. All this aside, Hiccup seemed to understand something. He had a sense that the order of things was wrong. He felt that–

At that moment, the bell rang, disrupting our musings. A rush of students flooded into the school, very few of them eager for the year to begin. Last year they had held everyone above them in awe. This year, things would be different. The sophomore class, last year so timid, entered the building as if they owned the place. It was the normal reaction, of course, and it caused some nostalgic smiles amongst the upperclassmen, who knew that not all that long ago it had been them in that position.

Astrid Hofferson was a popular girl. She was next year’s presumptive volleyball captain, and had already held several quasi-major roles in the school plays, even as a freshman. Hiccup was the kid who sat in the back, arguing on the teacher’s side when the class had an argument. Despite that, nobody really hated him. They just didn’t like how smart he was, and since he was generally anti-social, they left him alone. To Hiccup, this made him feel invisible. Normally, this would be perfectly fine, but he also wished that somebody – anybody – would just _talk_ to him for once, instead of refusing to acknowledge his existence.

He didn’t quite understand why he was so invisible. Sure, his work on the tech crew wasn’t exactly the most present occupation, but he stood on stage and gave everyone their microphones. He knew their names, why did they not seem to know his? Oh, right. His boss hardly ever had to yell at him, that’s why. He was a great worker, trained on both lights and sound, the best sort of handyman anyone could ever want. He was also a member of the band, which in and of itself should have meant he had lots of friends. He didn’t.

He had a few good friends, like Fishlegs Ingerman, who sat next to him in band, and a few others in other classes, but that was all. Hiccup was one of those people who always needed someone to make side comments to during lessons, so he made sure that he sat next to someone who would tolerate his habit, but that didn’t mean that they were more than acquaintances. He told himself that he would be perfectly fine without friends, thank you very much. But all that was about to change, as generally happens when a plot is in need of development.

Astrid walked down the hall to her new locker. It was right across the hall from the band room, and she had been assigned to it because it would ease her class-to-class traffic a little. Fortunately for us, Hiccup’s locker was right next to Astrid’s. It was also a new locker for him, although not nearly so much of a drastic shift as Astrid had undergone. His old locker was simply a few down the hall, and had ceased to function properly through no fault of Hiccup’s at the very end of the previous school year.

When she arrived at her locker, she was surprised to see Hiccup right next to her. She didn’t know him, despite being sophomores together, but she – being a friendly person – decided that she might as well get to know her locker-neighbor.

“Hello, my name is Astrid. I guess I’ll be locker-ing next to you this year. What’s your name?” She opened the conversation deftly, and she noticed a little start of… was that… panic?... as she talked to him.

“Uh… hi… I guess so… I’m Hiccup…” Hiccup was scared. A pretty girl had just opened a conversation with him. Beyond that, he thought he recognized this particular girl, although he was sure she had no clue who he was. The most frightening thing was that he was shocked into the realization that he was not invisible. Someone had actually talked to him willingly.

“Nice to meet you, Hiccup,” Astrid replied. She felt a little awkward, what with him appearing so uncomfortable, so she tried to put him a bit more at ease. “Don’t worry, I won’t bite,” she laughed.

“That’s good. I had been worrying.” Hiccup sarcastically bit back. He couldn’t help it, it was his defense mechanism. The next step was to refuse to answer, but he hoped he could still politely extricate himself from the situation before she thought him to be rude.

To his surprise, she laughed again. “It’s nice to know someone with a good sense of humor, Hiccup. I think we’ll get along wonderfully.” With that, Astrid turned and left her locker, leaving Hiccup in a confused daze.

Astrid had found Hiccup’s sarcasm to be amusing, which was good to know, seeing as how she was also a very sarcastic person. However, being an extrovert, she couldn’t quite comprehend why he had seemed to hesitant to talk to her. She shrugged off the issue for the moment, though, as she headed to her first period class.

Hiccup stood, dazed, at his locker for another minute or two, before the warning bell roused him out of his stupor. He likewise went to his first period class, after briefly glancing at his schedule to remind himself where it was.

The rest of the day was largely uneventful, up until lunchtime. Hiccup’s class was at one end of the performing arts hallway, where his locker was, and Astrid’s was located at the other end. Needless to say, when Hiccup spotted her coming down the hall, he mentally braced himself for awkwardness to ensue.

He was already halfway done with his business by the time Astrid arrived, fortunately for him – or so he thought – and thus was able to escape her with a simple yet still polite “Hi” after she greeted him, a mere second or two before he rose and went to find someplace to sit for lunch. Astrid shook her head in confusion at his abrupt departure. She was only trying to be friendly, that’s all. It never once occurred to her that some people did not want to be talked to. It was even farther from her mind that some people might not know how to handle being talked to.

Things became more interesting after lunch, when Hiccup and Astrid found themselves in Spanish together. They were forced to sit almost next to each other by that horrific habit of teachers sitting students by last name at the beginning of the year, but Hiccup decided that it could have been worse. He had been in Spanish with their teacher, Sra. Espinosa, the year before, and knew that she liked to pair those sitting across the aisle from one another.

Hiccup was good at Spanish. He attributed it to having been forced to learn it at the private elementary school he had gone to, which had helped code his brain for it. He also suspected that his literacy had something to do with it. Spanish’s word arrangements could be confusing to those who had not dabbled extensively in the quasi-unusual word orders of writers such as Shakespeare. Hiccup, however, knew all of this, and was quite comfortable with it, and so he, on a boastful day, might call himself the second-best student in the class.

While one day is certainly not sufficient time to form any reasonable opinions, Hiccup was getting the feeling that Astrid, while not struggling, was certainly not quite in his league in this class. Sure, she deserved to be in it far more than half of the class – uncaring idiots, all of them – but she didn’t seem to possess the… particular acumen… that would be needed at higher levels.

And then disaster struck. They had their next class together as well. It was the theatre elective, a year-long course of acting, producing, and (in the winter/spring) singing. The Drama Guild, which was the student organization behind this, held three performances yearly. There was the fall play, the winter/spring musical, and the spring one-acts. The one-acts were written and directed by the students, and were generally several hours’ worth of comedy when put together. It was an interesting concept, because the one-acts were never related to each other in subject material, but that just made it fun for everyone.

Hiccup, who was unaffiliated with the Drama Guild due to his paid position on the tech crew, naturally filled his role of technical handyman. He seemed to become a bit bigger in this scenario, and he obviously knew what he was doing. It being the first day, however, meant that he had nothing to do. His family, as he liked to refer to the rest of the crew, and he had put everything into inventory and made sure that it was all completely ready for the school year in the weeks before school starting. They had even repainted the stage at his boss’ insistence.

Astrid, being a somewhat-seasoned actress, was whisked away to the opposite side of the stage as Hiccup, but that didn’t erase the fact that she had accidentally walked with Hiccup to their next class. By this she meant that they had walked to the same place in almost the same amount of time, purely on accident. It didn’t help that this was the last class of the day, and so she might have to endure another awkward walk with Hiccup back to their lockers after school ended.

The fall play was written by one of the English teachers, and it was about stereotypical high-schoolers breaking out of their stereotypes. That was all they were told, however, as Mrs. Mandoth (the drama instructor) began a speech about drama, how important it was, and how she expected everyone to do their best work in order to make a beautiful finished product. Astrid payed close attention, her mind never wandering to Hiccup, that weird boy who seemed to be so awkward around her. When the speech was over, however, she did look over at the tech crew, and saw Hiccup totally at ease in their company. She didn’t know why, but she felt a small pang of jealousy that others could get Hiccup to act normal – well, more normal – and she couldn’t. It made her all the more determined to break through the shell she thought he had raised.

Hiccup was laughing and talking with his crew-mates when he suddenly felt as if someone was watching him. He discreetly looked, and saw no-one looking in his direction, and neither did he see anyone hastily looking away. The feeling of being observed did not leave him, however. He was only relaxing because there was nothing for him to do, of course. Had there been any work to be done, he would have still been joking around, but it would have mostly been reserved for Tuffnut Thorston, his junior accomplice and partner-in-crime. He was a freshman, but the two had become fast friends during their work in the summer prepping the auditorium. This year, as Tuffnut was already adept at the sound board, Hiccup would be on lights. There were upperclassmen on the crew, too, and they were the ones who would actually be on the boards, but Hiccup and Tuffnut would each run an act on their respective boards for both the play and the musical. The one-acts had a different setup, which required far less people, by which Gobber, their boss, meant one person. One person running the lights, because the seating arrangements for the one-acts did not require microphones.

In any case, Hiccup was chilling with the crew when he noticed that one of the lights had burned out in the back of the auditorium. His first job as part of the crew had been to replace such lights, and at this point, he was the acknowledged expert. So he grabbed Tuffnut, the replacement lamps (not bulbs, lamps), and the pole with the claw at the end that they used to screw and unscrew the lamps from their sockets. Hiccup would unscrew the burned-out lamp, then lower the pole so that Tuffnut could remove the lamp and replace it with a new one, which Hiccup would screw into place. It was theoretically a two-man job, because accidents happen and lamps fall and shatter, but Hiccup never had any accidents… Well, no accidents he caused, anyways. There had been a hilarious incident last year, when the lamp was too precarious to lower it, and so they decided to make a net with the curtain nearby. The only problem was that they miscalculated, and the lamp missed and broke on the stage. They had all burst out laughing. They had lots of fun on the tech crew, and Hiccup loved his job.

Eventually, however, the period came to an end, and Hiccup realized the same thing Astrid had earlier. He was saved by a crew meeting, however, and he watched as Astrid left the stage. He didn’t know why he was so concerned about being with her. It wasn’t as if he was scared of getting close to somebody, was it?

Astrid left the stage quickly, rushed to her locker to pick up and drop off her stuff before rushing off to volleyball practice. Several hours later, she was preparing to leave when she remembered that she had, in her hurry, forgotten something in the auditorium. Sighing, she headed back. When she arrived, she was surprised to find that the lights were still on. She checked her phone. It was past 5 o-clock, which meant that the auditorium should have been empty with the lights off. She wasn’t about to question it, however, and had just grabbed her stuff and was turning to leave when she heard a voice. She looked around, but could see no-one in the auditorium. The lights were off in the tech booth in the back, so she had no clue as to the whereabouts of the voice’s source.

Several seconds later, she realized that the voice was singing. It was a beautiful voice, too. She couldn’t pinpoint who the voice belonged to, but she was struck by a desire to stay and listen.

_“Every night, I hope and pray_  
_A dream lover will come my way:_  
_A girl to hold in my arms,_  
_And know the magic of her charms._  
_'Cause I want (yeah-yeah, yeah)_  
_A girl (yeah-yeah, yeah)_  
_To call (yeah-yeah, yeah)_  
_My own (yeah-yeah)_  
_I want a dream lover,_  
_So I don't have to dream alone._

_Dream lover, where are you?_  
_With a love, oh, so true,_  
_And the hand that I can hold_  
_To feel you near as I grow old_  
_'Cause I want (yeah-yeah, yeah)_  
_A girl (yeah-yeah, yeah)_  
_To call (yeah-yeah, yeah)_  
_My own (yeah-yeah, yeah)_  
_I want a dream lover,_  
_So I don't have to dream alone._

_Someday, I don't know how,_  
_I hope she'll hear my plea._  
_Some way, I don't know how,_  
_She'll bring her love to me._

_Dream lover, until then,_  
_I'll go to sleep and dream again_  
_That's the only thing to do,_  
_‘Till all my lover’s dreams come true,_  
_'Cause I want (yeah-yeah, yeah)_  
_A girl (yeah-yeah, yeah)_  
_To call (yeah-yeah, yeah)_  
_My own (yeah-yeah, yeah)_  
_I want a dream lover,_  
_So I don't have to dream alone._

_Please, don't make me dream alone…_  
_I beg you, don't make me dream alone…_  
_No, I don't wanna dream alone…”_

There was a clicking noise, then the voice stopped. A light went on in the tech booth, revealing Hiccup standing by one of the windows holding a microphone. Astrid was shocked, but she made good an escape before Hiccup noticed that she had been there and had heard him singing.

Unfortunately for her, Hiccup had seen her. He had seen her as soon as she was on the stage. He simply pretended not to see her to avoid further complicating the situation between them. When she left, Hiccup shut everything down and went home. It had been an interesting first day of school, to say the least…


	2. Day Two (or, we learn more about our characters)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspiring Song: "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake

The next day, Hiccup resolved to pretend that he had not seen Astrid in the auditorium. If she brought it up, then he supposed he would deal with it, but he certainly wasn’t going to be the one to open that door. Unbeknownst to him, Astrid had likewise decided not to broach the subject, because she felt like that would be an invasion of his privacy. He clearly didn’t want people to know that he was singing, so it was none of her business whether he did or not, and it would probably make him quite uncomfortable to know that someone had caught him in the act.

Of course, this raises the question about why Hiccup started singing, knowing that there was somebody else in the room. Perhaps even Hiccup doesn’t know why he did it. It would be nice to think that he did it to help him overcome his fears of socializing, or that he did it to discreetly impress Astrid. Maybe he was just showing off, even a little bit. Life is not so simple, however, so the best explanation is that we must wait and see if Hiccup will one day be able to explain himself.

They missed each other at their lockers in the morning, which was fine by both of them, and thus they didn’t see each other until lunchtime, once again.

“Hello, Hiccup!” Astrid began as she walked up to her locker.

“Hey,” Hiccup politely responded. He still could not understand why she wanted to talk to him so much.

“How has your day been so far?”

“Eh… you know, so-so. What about yours?”

“Mine was pretty good, thanks.”

“Anything interesting happen?” Hiccup had no idea why he asked her that. He began kicking himself mentally for allowing her to break him open like that. He never allowed it to happen. Not since his incident in sixth grade.

“Not really, no. It just wasn’t a bad day, that’s all.”

“Ah, that’s good.” Hiccup saw and claimed his chance to escape. “If you would excuse me…” He stood and walked away, towards another lunch at a table used only by himself.

Astrid watched him walk away, slightly perturbed. This was nothing like the Hiccup she had seen – and heard – only yesterday during Drama. She saw that he appeared to be sitting alone, and that also confused her more. She knew he had at least a few friends. Perhaps they didn’t have the same lunch period. Yes, that was it.

She left her locker and started walking over to her own table (with friends also present, of course). She didn’t make it far, however, before she was stopped by some guy.

“Hey, girl…” He began, attempting to be smooth, even as Astrid tried to get around him, clearly not interested in anything he might have to say. “I’ve seen you around, and I think that maybe we should be seen around,” he continued.

Was that his idea of a smooth pick-up line? Because he had miles to go before it would have any effect on her. Astrid had dealt with this sort of crap before, and she wouldn’t put up with it. “I’m not sorry to say that I don’t seem to think the same thing. Please leave me alone, I’m not interested.” She walked past him, but he grabbed her arm, forcing her to stop.

“Aw, come on, baby. You’d like me, I promise.”

“I can’t like anyone who lays their hands on me without my permission. If you do not unhand me, I shall do it for you. Final warning.” There was fire in her eyes, and the boy released her and backed up a few steps.

“Alright… yeesh… I was only trying to get to know you, that’s all.”

And now the idiot was trying to recover. Excellent… not. “Well, there are far more polite ways to do things like that. And grabbing a woman is not one of them. Don’t think I don’t know what your other hand was doing, either. If you talk to me again, I’ll have you sent to the principal for harassment.” With that, she left him sputtering in the hall as she walked over to her table of friends.

“Girl, what happened? That guy looks pissed,” Ruffnut Thorston commented as Astrid walked up to the table.

“Tell me about it… The creep didn’t even introduce himself. He just grabbed me and tried to hook up or something stupid.” Astrid sat down heavily.

“That’s rough. You alright?” Heather Hollylock inquired, concerned.

“Yeah… I just wish they would stop. I don’t want or need all these guys gawking at me, wishing they could get with me, you know? I’m a sophomore, not some rich heiress with a mansion and whatnot. I’m just a kid still.” There was bitterness in her voice, and her friends discreetly gave her a bit more space.

“I understand,” Heather replied. “Some guy brushed my butt yesterday while I was walking down the hall. He just casually put his hand down there as I walked by.”

“Ugh… men… such idiots. If it weren’t for those occasional good cookies, I’d have given up by now,” Ruffnut commented.

“Oh, which good cookies? If I recall correctly, your last few boyfriends – all of them, actually – were jerks.” Astrid rejoined.

“Well, okay, true. But I can’t stop hoping, right? I mean, my brother isn’t too bad, after all.”

“Okay, I’ll give you that. Tuffnut isn’t too bad, but come on, he’s such a nerd. Plus, he hangs with that Hiccup kid,” Heather replied.

“Aw, Hiccup isn’t so bad. He’s different, yes, but he just isn’t the sort of person you’re used to.” Astrid hesitated just a bit, to make it seem less like she was defending Hiccup.

“Oh, and you would know, Miss Popular?” Ruffnut prodded Astrid a bit.

“Well, sort of, actually… His locker is next to mine this year.”

Heather jumped in, excited. “So you’re friends with Hiccup now? I don’t know if I should be impressed or revolted.”

“Neither. We aren’t friends, we just happen to know each other. He isn’t disgusting, and just because he appears to have one friend doesn’t make it amazing that I’ve talked to him. Besides, it’s only the second day of school. Who knows what’s going to happen?” Astrid was becoming tired of this subject. “Anyways, how is German, Heather?”

The topic successfully shifted away from the dangerous waters of a conversation about Hiccup, Astrid began to relax again. She even managed to forget about that creepy guy – almost.

On the other side of the lunchroom, Hiccup sat by himself as he had the year before, and the two years before that. Ever since he had moved to Berk, he had been alone, for the most part. His dad’s law firm moved him around somewhat frequently, and Hiccup had never lived in one place for longer than three years. This obviously wasn’t conducive to forming good people skills. Why bother meeting people when your average solidity rating was two years? Hiccup had learned that it was easier to just be alone than to risk the potential damages of leaving friends behind when the inevitable move happened.

He always managed to make one good friend each place he lived, however, and he tried to keep in touch with them, of course, but it was difficult at times. All of the long-distance issues were present, and there was also the fear that they wouldn’t remember him. He wasn’t exactly a memorable person, or so he thought. The truth was that they remembered him, and missed him when he was gone. Hiccup didn’t know that, though, and continued to go forward with the idea of minimizing any personal losses, because nothing would ever last. Especially after the Sixth Grade Debacle, in which Hiccup had made some horrible mistakes. Mistakes from which he had never recovered.

Suffice to say that Hiccup had developed such an anti-social persona that, when added to his natural introverted character, made being socially active nearly impossible for him. He didn’t really mind being alone, mostly. There were times, however, when the loneliness threatened to swallow him up and consume him in an incapacitating misery. It did not happen often, but it had many triggers, most of them commonplace: a couple holding hands, friends walking and laughing together, a young child playing. These things made his solitude feel more acute, and, well, real.

By not happening often, Hiccup was really only talking about the truly debilitating reaction. His heart would fill with varying degrees of sadness rather frequently, once or twice a week on average. He never allowed it to stop him, though. Okay, well, he did. But it wasn’t as if it controlled him in any way, was it? He could fight through it sometimes, and he would if he had to. It was usually… easier… for him to not, and the fact that it generally wasn’t necessary for him to fight it certainly made it easier to not resist.

Regardless, Hiccup’s wandering eyes crossed the lunchroom while his ears picked up random snippets of various conversations. He heard how two juniors had apparently broken up within two hours of getting together, how a freshman was already failing half their classes (how was that even possible?), and then his ears heard the words “Astrid Hofferson”. He subconsciously perked up immediately and listened in closer.

“… and so I walked up to her, and I says ‘Hey, girl…’ tryin’ to be all friendly and all, ya know? And she gives me this bullshit about not being interested in me. I mean, me. How could she not want me? Not only that, she threatened to report me!” The first voice was speaking.

A second voice chimed in. “Well, dude, they always play hard-to-get. You know that. How many times were you turned down yesterday?”

“Zero, dude. I got three phone numbers yesterday, and even a couple of nudes last night,” the first voice replied.

“Seriously? My main man over here!” A third voice entered the conversation.

“Yeah, well, when you’re as fucking smooth as I am, getting the ladies ain’t hard.”

“Unless that ‘lady’ is Astrid Hofferson…” the second voice taunted.

“Listen,” the first voice sounded pissed. “I _will_ get her. Everyone else is a fling for all the shits I give. Astrid, though, is a fucking conquest. I’ll make her beg for me, just you wait…”

Hiccup had heard enough, and what he had heard sickened him. To think that any guy could think so… barbarically mechanically about a girl was almost too much for him to bear. He made a mental note of the guy in question – probably on some sports team, by the looks of him – and then decided that he was no longer hungry. He promised himself that although he might not even really like Astrid in any way, that he would do his best to spare her from that bastard. His contribution might not be anything large, but even the smallest pebble reinforces the dam.

His eyes returned to their roving, and before he realized what had happened, he saw her. And she saw him. Their eyes met for just a fraction of a second, while Hiccup’s mind panicked and then decided to force him to look away.

Hiccup’s eyes showed shock and fear (in that order); Astrid’s showed a pleasant surprise, the type one would show if one happened to chance upon a friend in an unexpected place. Once again she marveled at how unwilling he was to make any sort of contact with her. She hoped it was nothing wrong with her, and Hiccup seemed like a nice guy. She resolved to try to talk to him during Spanish.

“Hey, Hiccup, how’s it going?” Astrid opened the conversation as soon as there was an opportunity.

Hiccup attempted to busy himself with fiddling with the stuff in his backpack, but was far too polite to simply ignore her. “Not too bad… just the same as always. And you?”

“Not the greatest, but better now,” she replied brightly.

“And why would that be?” Hiccup knew he shouldn’t allow her to draw him out like this, but she was so infuriatingly _friendly_ that he couldn’t help it. So much for his fabled self-control…

“Because I’m talking to my new friend, that’s why!”

She was too damn bubbly. “Are we friends?” Hiccup’s tone was dry as he responded, one eyebrow raised.

“Why wouldn’t we be?”

Add too optimistic to the list of irritating traits. “Because…” He drew the word out in a cynical fashion. “We have to actually _know_ each other to be friends. You don’t know me, therefore, at this moment, we are not friends.”

Astrid was hurt, and Hiccup could see it. “Alright… if that’s how you want it…” Astrid engaged in a last-ditch guilt-trip effort…

… And Hiccup fell for it hook, line, and sinker. “It might not have to be that way…” Hiccup hated to make people upset, and he tried to salvage the situation.

He did it too well. “Well, that’s a start, I guess. I’ll leave you alone now, though.”

“Thank you,” Hiccup drily responded.

With that, things started to change between them. It didn’t happen at once, but they could both feel as if some Rubicon had been crossed. Neither of them knew what it signified, but there was the sense that things would never be the same.

Astrid’s thoughts were about being friendly to this strange-seeming guy, partly due to her personality, and partly because he intrigued her, though who knew why. He wasn’t exactly physically attractive, with his long hair and tall, thin body, and he didn’t have an imposing personality, but something about him sparked her interest, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on.

Hiccup, on the other hand, was thinking about minimizing the damage. He was too polite to tell her to simply leave him alone, but at the same time he wanted to keep her as far away as possible. The only problem was that she was excellently situated in his “Goldilocks Zone” of friendship: they shared classes and had lockers next to each other, and there was also (admittedly) a small bit of physical attraction going on. Contact was inevitable, and despite any of Hiccup’s efforts to avoid it, he knew that something was going to happen. He just didn’t want to hurt her by being glacial or anything.

He was curious about what she had meant by “not the greatest” but then he remembered what the guys in the lunchroom had been talking about, and he correctly reasoned that it had happened that day. He then proceeded to kick himself for being another jerk guy, as he perceived himself to have been.

In truth, he hadn’t, quite the opposite. He had made Astrid pleased by talking to her, if only for a little while. Beyond that, his unexpected foot-stop in the closing door of friendship opportunities had also made her happy. She resolved to ease back a little, because she still clearly made him uncomfortable, but she refused to let him off the hook so easily, if she could help it. She was the sort of optimistic person who believed that there might be a good grain of wheat in a pile of chaff, if one looked hard enough for it.

The rest of Spanish class went by swiftly, as it was the beginning of a review of the previous year’s material, which neither of them had any real problem with. After that, they headed – separately, this time – to drama class. The try-out packets were handed out to those interested in acting (additional packets were available in the Activities Office for those not in the class who were interested), and the tech crew spent another day chilling.

They wouldn’t start actually working until a few weeks into the production, because the actors needed to have a decent sense of where they were supposed to be for the lights and sounds to actually be able to be set up. Hiccup was familiar with the process by this point. When the stage crew started working on the set and whatnot, however, the tech crew would lend a hand, because sometimes there was nothing better to do, and it helped give the lights guys a sense of what their work would be later. Plus, it made building the sets go quicker, which is a great stress-reliever for everyone. It’s awkward to act (and revise) a balcony scene when the balcony is only half-built, for example.

Astrid spent the period practicing for her audition, which was the same as everyone else’s. “All gender roles are flexible,” the packet said at the top, which would make for some… interesting… auditions, as she already knew from experience. The previous year had seen two guys acting out the parts of two girl characters. One was phenomenal, with the requisite ‘girly’ personality down pat (as per the auditionee’s interpretation of the character). The other guy, well, it was funny, but mostly because he had butchered the part. It was obvious that he was mostly a springboard for his friend, who got a pretty decent part. So, yeah, flexible gender roles was a fun concept to have around. Most of the time, it was a straight pair, simply because it is quite difficult to maintain the persona, but there were enough exceptions to keep the dream alive.

There were three or four scenes to choose from; everyone chose a partner, and they would practice their chosen scene until the time came for auditions, which would be during the second week of school. The scenes were all of comparable difficulty, but each showcased a different style of acting. One might be a more humorous scene, for example, while another might be more about a stressful situation. Then again, a third might be an open-ended dialogue, with a view to see how the actors would interpret the scene to make it ‘come alive’ as much as they could, in their own, unique way.

Hiccup was half bored, half fascinated by the process. The endless repetition was quite irritating to him, but he enjoyed watching how people handled it. He saw some people (the newer ones, mostly) freaking out, which was amusing, in a twisted yet sympathetic way. Other people were riding the waves well, as is expected. He saw that Astrid was one of those people. That’s where he knew her from, of course. He had forgotten over the summer, but Astrid had held a somewhat important part during the musical last year, so he had seen her around. He had been totally invisible to her, though, having been on lights the previous year, mostly.

He sighed, still unsure about what to do with the irritating, bubbly girl who had thrust herself so suddenly into his nice, ordered world. Every time he thought about being friends with her, the memories of the Sixth Grade Debacle would resurface, drowning (temporarily, anyways) the hope for a change.

Just because Hiccup didn’t chase girls doesn’t mean he didn’t dream about them. It certainly never stopped him from the rare pining, which had only once moved beyond such. Before you ask, this did not cause the Sixth Grade Debacle, but it was still a… painful… memory of sorts. The point is that Hiccup dreamed, but was far too afraid to try and make said dreams a reality. Especially with Astrid. At this point, he was forming the suspicion that he was developing feelings for her, and there was no way he was going to be another one of those guys who threw himself at her. Not after what he had heard about during lunch. He refused to be that guy. If anything, he determined to stay away more than he normally would, for fear of being the one who might push her over the edge and become who-knows-what. He would hate himself forever if he did that to her. Well, anyone, really, but especially her.

He knew it would be hard, and that he would be treading a very fine line, but Hiccup had been treading fine lines for a long time. He was the only person he knew of who regularly operated on about four hours of sleep every night. He was also not inclined to drink very many fluids, so one could add a constant semi-dehydrated state to the list of his physical risks. On the other side, having few friends meant that he had basically no-one to confide in, because Hiccup had a very hard time trusting people enough to tell them things. This meant that his emotions and issues were bottled up inside, and although he was exceptional at keeping them that way (no-one had ever seen Hiccup more than slightly annoyed on the outside), he knew that a break was inevitable.

It was almost as if Hiccup was a time-bomb, and that was part of why he continued to seclude himself. He didn’t want to risk hurting anybody else when he finally exploded.


	3. A New Friend (or, they finally have a real conversation)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspiring Song: "What Becomes of the Brokenhearted" by Jimmy Ruffin

The next few days passed rather uneventfully. Astrid would try to talk to Hiccup, Hiccup would politely extricate himself from the conversation, and they would then be forced to be in somewhat close proximity for the rest of the class period.

During Spanish, anyways. Astrid was too busy with the play auditions to bother with attempting to talk to Hiccup during Drama. Plus, Hiccup was always hanging out with his tech crew buddies, and he looked too happy for her to justify disrupting that social dynamic. Besides, getting a good part was more important to her than talking to someone she was beginning to think didn’t really want to be talked to.

Which was all well and good for Hiccup, who had every intention (or so he thought) of continuing to tread his line. When they were at their lockers together, Hiccup would halve the time he took, in order to reduce the possible conversation time. No matter what he did, though, Astrid always managed a “hello” before Hiccup could escape, forcing him to reply in kind before rushing off.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with him,” Astrid grumbled one day at lunch.

“What’s wrong with who?” Ruffnut asked. “Is it some idiot boy being a douche again?”

“No, not exactly. It’s an idiot boy, yes, but he isn’t being a douche. It’s what he isn’t doing…”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean? If you’re talking about them all launching themselves at you, wouldn’t it be a good thing that he isn’t doing anything?” Heather put in her two cents.

“It’s not even that, Heather. He won’t even talk to me unless I basically force him to. When we talk, I can tell that he’s only responding because he probably doesn’t know how to tell me to go away.”

“Well, if you don’t think that he wants to talk to you, then don’t talk to him, whoever he is.” That was Heather, always the sensible one of the three.

“I suppose so…” Astrid replied uncertainly.

“Come on, even you have to admit that some guys don’t want to talk to pretty girls,” Ruffnut hedged slyly.

That stopped Astrid dead in her thoughts. _Oh, gods… what if he actually is... that?_ She wasn’t sure what she would do if he was. Not that she was interested in Hiccup, of course. She just wanted to be his friend.

“I… hadn’t thought of that,” Astrid replied after a bit of stunned silence from her and Heather. “I mean, he does look uncomfortable, but it wouldn’t explain why he looks almost terrified when I walk up to him.”

“Hmm… interesting observation. You could always experiment with it,” Ruffnut suggested. “Who is he, anyways?”

“Why do you need to know?” Astrid asked defensively. She wasn’t sure why she reacted like that. Surely wanting to talk to Hiccup was something she could tell her friends, right?

“Sheesh… just asking… You wouldn’t happen to have a crush on this boy, would you?” Ruffnut continued her hedging.

“What? Of course not.” Astrid said this in a normal voice. “He’s just a guy who might, _might_ , be a bit better than the average-” But at that moment she was interrupted by a burst of laughter erupting from a table across the cafeteria. It appears that the three boys we heard from on the second day of school had been goofing off, and then something super funny happened, and they seemed to all by dying of laughter. “Bastards…” Astrid muttered when she saw that one of the guys was the one who had so rudely violated her space the second day of school.

“If that table over there is average, I can see why you might want to talk to this mysterious guy,” Heather said.

Astrid only half-heard her, though, because as she continued to glare at the idiots on the far side of the room, she saw Hiccup pick himself up off the floor to a smaller bout of laughter from the other boys. She could barely see a red mark on his left cheek, and she was immediately filled with anger, partly because she could do nothing to help the situation.

“Did Hiccup just fall on his face?” Ruffnut asked laughing, as Hiccup walked over to the empty table where his things were set down.

The bell rang before Astrid could do anything else, which was most likely for the better. She stalled on her way to Spanish, hoping that Hiccup would pass her so that she could try to walk with him, but he took a different route, because she didn’t see him at all until she saw him already in the classroom when she walked in. Upon seeing him, she proceeded to walk up to him.

“Hey, are you okay?” She began.

Hiccup looked up, then quickly looked back down when he saw who was talking to him. “Oh, just great,” he muttered, before speaking up. “You saw that, too?” His right cheek matched the redness of his left, and he started rapidly shaking his right leg under the desk.

“I saw those jerks laughing, and I saw you get up, but not what caused you to be on the floor in the first place. Are you alright? I also saw the mark on your cheek.”

“Oh, that? That’s nothing. I’ve had worse, mostly self-inflicted.” Hiccup replied. Seeing the shocked look on her face, he swiftly backtracked. “No, no! I didn’t mean that! I… my work is… sometimes dangerous. I almost fell off of a ladder into the rigging for the hoisting apparatus over the stage with a 30-pound iron block once.”

“Oh, ok…” The relief was clear on Astrid’s face. This seemed to be the day for shocking false revelations about Hiccup. First he might be gay, then he might be cutting or worse. But it seemed that both of those were, as she found out of both in turn, false. “You had me worried there, Haddock.”

“Why would you care if I was? It makes some people feel better, you know. N-not that I have any personal experience…” He hastily added.

“Because despite what you may consider me, I think of you as a friend.”

Hiccup’s leg stopped moving as what she said sank in. “I… y-you what? Look at me, Astrid. I mean, really look at me. I am basically the worst person for you to be friends with. I’ve got nothing going for me, and I’m sure this would hurt your social life, something which I don’t have by any stretch of the imagination.”

For the second time that day, Astrid was angry. She punched his arm, and with no small amount of force, either. “How can you say that? Sure, we’ve only known each other for about a week and a half, but that you aren’t the nobody you seem to think you are.”

“You seem to be the only person in our entire school who thinks that…” His reply was subdued, and he stared at the floor.

“Oh, that isn’t true. I’ve seen you with your techie buddies in Drama. They don’t look like their hanging out with a nobody.”

“I-I suppose so…” He paused, gathering his thoughts and taking a deep breath. “Very well,” he said, nodding his head once before looking up at her face for the second time. “Astrid Ho-Hofferson, I…” He trailed off, looking away again. _Oh, come on, Hiccup. You can do this._ He mentally kicked himself before looking at her and starting again. “I will be your friend.”

Astrid wasn’t blind. Not by any stretch. She could see how much effort it took for him to say that, and as pleased with herself as she was for drawing the phrase out of him, her respect for him doubled because she knew that it most likely would have been difficult for him to say that to anybody. Her response bore that in mind. “Thank you, Hiccup. I’m touched, I really am.”

He had looked away after saying “friend”, and he now looked back at her and gave her a tentative smile. _You’d be more touched if you knew why I was on the floor during lunch. Either that or deciding to never talk to me again…_ “That’s another first, it seems.”

“So, would you mind telling your new friend why you have a bruise on your cheek?”

Hiccup started a little bit, unsure about how much he should tell her about what he had done during lunch. “Nothing… I wasn’t watching where I was going, and I… tripped…”

Astrid saw right through that lie, but decided not to press the issue too much. She was not going to lose her new friend like that. “Are you sure it didn’t have anything to do with the boys at that table?” She asked innocently (and also on a hunch).

“I… Well, I tripped over one of their legs, if you must know.”

“And you landed on the side of your face?”

Fortunately for Hiccup’s side of the interrogation, the bell to begin class rang as she finished speaking, sparing him from further questioning. For the moment, at the very least.

-

Hiccup had not had the best of days. He was late for school – and he was never late for school – because his alarm refused to ring. He then proceeded to fall asleep in math class first period. To add insult to injury, Snotlout Jorgenson was in his math class. Hiccup had previously recognized him as being the guy who had been talking about Astrid as if she were a piece of land – a farm, more specifically for his intentions – than he could buy and plow. Naturally, being in the same room with such a poor representative of male-ness was sickening to Hiccup, and he figured it always would be. The rest of his pre-lunch classes could have been decent, but he was stilled pissed about some offhand remark Snotlout had made. He was also tired, which didn’t help things. So he passed the day passed in a slow trawl of irritation and drowsiness. Then it was lunchtime.

He missed Astrid at their lockers, and while normally he would have been relieved, but today it just made him feel even worse, especially when he saw a couple kissing in the alcove of a doorway, which triggered some of his romantic loneliness-related depression. He had actually grown a little fond of her greetings, and they had always managed to brighten his day a little. As it was, Hiccup did not receive the uplifting experience he needed, and he was prime for snapping. Verbally, anyways. He had far too much self-control than to let anything less than armed assault provoke him into a fight.

Hiccup walked over to his usual solitary table and sat down. When he had finished eating his lunch, he began to listen to what other people were saying, as was his habit. Much to his further annoyance, Snotlout was talking again.

“So I asked her if she could give me Astrid’s number. And the bitch said she didn’t have it. ‘What do you mean, you “don’t have it”? You’re on the same volleyball team, aren’t you?’ I said. And the whore had the nerve to tell me that Astrid didn’t just give people her number. Bullshit. Everyone gives everyone their numbers.” There were several grunts of agreement before he continued. “Speaking of which, I got, like, ten more since the party on Saturday. And I’ve gotten pictures from three so far. I always knew no-one could resist me.”

Hiccup seriously felt ready to throw up. He stopped listening and pulled out some homework to take his mind of that womanizing bastard. He was stopped, however, when he heard Astrid’s name pass through Snotlout’s mouth, accompanied by a few choice words Hiccup was not prepared to hear anywhere near Astrid’s name. His patience (and also his will to restrain himself) broke, and he stood up and walked over to Snotlout’s table.

“You know, if you ever want to get a girl to like you, calling her those things is not going to help.”

Snotlout looked up to see who had presumed to tell him what to do. “Oh, it’s you. You’re the kid who fell asleep in math class today. The one who hasn’t been on a date in… let’s see… never. Hiccup, right?”

“Yes, for the little it’s worth. But it isn’t my love life we’re talking about. We’re talking about respect.”

“Speaking of, you should be showing me some, loser.”

“And why is that? What have you ever done to deserve my respect, Snotlout?”

“I’m the quarterback, and also the basketball captain in the spring. I’m bigger, stronger, and way sexier than you, fishbone. I’ve got all the girls hanging onto every word I say. You should be doing more than respecting me. You should be begging me to allow you to stay in my presence.”

“Do you think I want to be standing here? And you don’t have _every_ girl after you. Astrid Hofferson isn’t exactly dying to be within ten feet of your stench range, and I could name a few more girls whom you disgust.” Hiccup had struck a nerve by bringing Astrid up, and he knew it. He was almost too frustrated to care, however.

“Like she or any of the others would ever go for you over me,” Snotlout laughed. “But don’t you worry. That stuck-up bitch Astrid will be my personal whore soon enough.”

Hiccup’s remaining restraint shattered. They had been talking somewhat loudly, and they had the attention of the near side of the lunchroom, but Hiccup didn’t know or care. He walked up to Snotlout, and spoke slowly and angrily. “If you so much as touch one of her belongings, I will know, and you will deal with me personally. Do you understand?”

Snotlout was confused and angry. Was this puny fishbone threatening him? He must have a death with or something. Snotlout could crush his head with only his left arm. “Why don’t I just deal with you right now, fishbone?” Snotlout did possess the sense to know that pummeling Hiccup into the ground right at that moment was a bad idea, so he settled for a solid push. It was meant to send him stumbling away, but one of his buddies added loads of comedy to the situation by placing his foot right behind Hiccup’s ankle.

Hiccup stumbled backwards, tripped over the foot behind him, and fell, hitting his face on a nearby table as he went down. Snotlout and his buddies roared with laughter. Hiccup stayed on the floor for a moment to ensure that there was no serious damage. He would have a bruise on his cheek later, he knew. He then picked himself up, quickly hiding the blush that formed when he realized that nearly the entire lunchroom was looking in his direction now. He raised up his posture and walked back to his table with as much dignity as he could muster.

When lunch was over, he took a different path to Spanish than he normally did, which ended up being quicker than the route he had been using. He sat down and waited for class to start, before hearing someone start talking to him.

-

After Spanish was over, Astrid basically forced him to walk with her to Drama class. As they were now friends, Hiccup had no excuse to not walk with her, other than that it would certainly damage her reputation, especially considering the embarrassing scene during lunch. Astrid could tell that he did not exactly want to talk about that, however, so she graciously declined to bring it back up.

They talked of other things, inconsequential things, such as how their other classes were going. When they reached the auditorium, Hiccup was significantly more cheered than he had been even as recently as the end of Spanish class. Oh, the marvels that a conversation with someone who is actually listening can work…

If he had been thinking about it, he might have gone so far as to have thought himself sad when they parted ways upon reaching the stage, him to the rigging and her to where the other actors were preparing for their audition, which would be held that Friday after school. It was Wednesday today, so there was still time, but the crunch was beginning. Hiccup might have tried to continue talking to Astrid, but he knew that auditions were soon, and he knew that she would appreciate him not bothering her so that she could practice.

And thus he left her, decided to spend the period re-weighting the pulleys for the drop bars that they hung the lights on. They have five bars devoted entirely to hanging lights. They were evenly spaced above the stage, and they were capable of covering the entire stage in light (when the lights hanging on them were properly adjusted, anyways). The purpose of the weights was to balance out the weight of the bars and whatever it was that was hanging on them, to allow for easy hauling. It was simple enough: if it was easier to bring the bar up, but hard to bring down, then weights needed to be removed from the pulley. If the opposite were true, then weights needed to be added. The weights came in twenty- and thirty-pound bars, which had to be transported up and down a ladder, due to the fact that the pulleys could only come down so far, and the weights could stack up to quite a height.

It had been this job that had nearly sent Hiccup to the hospital the previous year (the work almost-accident that he had mentioned to Astrid earlier), but he was never one to let personal danger get in the way of what was necessary.

As he worked, he reflected on how the day had gone from horrible to great in the space of about five minutes. If he had been asked at the beginning of the school year where he thought he would be now, he never would have even thought of answering that he would be friends with Astrid Hofferson. He certainly would never have mentioned taking a table to the face for her. It truly was amazing how the wheel turns. He had gone from doing nothing but watching from afar and secretly hoping to standing up and getting in the relative ‘thick of it’ within the course of a week.

And it was all because of Astrid Hofferson. Hiccup didn’t realize it yet, but there were movements within him that would cast him onto the most confusing roller coaster he had ever been forced to ride, and the gate to begin would soon be lifted…


	4. A Conundrum Develops (or, Hiccup's emotional ball finally starts rolling)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspiring Song: "I Am a Rock" by Simon & Garfunkel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long. I know I said I wouldn't be updating regularly, but still...
> 
> Anyways, I just wanted to say that I'm interested in what you guys think of the story so far. Any and all comments are appreciated, just try to keep it positive, please? Thanks!

_Four Years Earlier_

“What exactly are you saying, Hiccup?” The voice came through his phone carrying a decidedly unfriendly tone.

“What I’m saying is that I can’t do this anymore. You’ve tried, I’ve tried, but I just can’t handle it all anymore.”

The voice on the other end of the line went cold. “Is this some sort of cowardly way of telling me that you’re breaking up with me? Because if it is, I expected more from you, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock.”

“Wilhelmina… that’s not…”

“Oh, so you aren’t?”

“No, I… argh… Just listen, will you? I don’t know what to do. Trying to keep in contact with you has been causing me a lot of stress, and my parents are getting suspicious about some of our… conversations… Additionally, I–”

“Is that all I am to you know? A burden and a hazard?”

“What? No! That’s not what–”

“You know what?” Wilhelmina sounded angry now. “I don’t even care what you have to say now. I’m done with your bullshit, Hiccup. I’ve only got two words left for you: Fuck. You.” And with that, she hung up, leaving Hiccup an emotional mess in his room.

Hiccup barely ate anything that week, and his grades were miles below what they should have been for the entirety of that month. His break-up with Wilhelmina had virtually destroyed any semblance of emotional attachment to people that he might have had. He had given his heart to someone, and when he had tried to diplomatically take it back to save his sanity, she had dashed it to pieces before his very eyes. Hiccup would never be the same again. He developed a shell that would last for years, building up an uncaring attitude that matched the emptiness he felt inside.

Whenever anybody decided to talk to him, he would respond with a mixture of politeness and sarcasm, the proportions of which varied according to the situation. Over time, he grew to not really appreciate the day-to-day interactions with most people, which most certainly had something to do with his introverted-ness; this made people want to talk to him less, and so Hiccup himself was to blame for nobody really wanting to talk to him – friends excepted, of course.

_Present Day_

“… Hiccup?”

Hiccup opened his eyes and looked around. Everyone was staring at him, and it seems that it had been Astrid who had woken him up. “… What? …”

“It’s time for the test, Hiccup. We were reviewing el imperfecto, y tu duer– I mean, you fell asleep. You look really tired, by the way, are you alright?”

“Yeah, mostly. I didn’t sleep well last night, but it’s nothing you need to worry about. I can handle it.” He gave her a smile as the test packets were passed to them down their respective rows, and they then shut up to take it.

The test took all period, so Astrid questioned him as they walked down to Drama together. “What happened last night? Is everything ok?” She asked.

Hiccup didn’t know how to respond to her. On the one hand, it would be nice to have a sympathetic ear; on the other hand, he still wasn’t sure if she liked him enough – as friends, of course – to not think that he was some sort of creep or something and stop being his friend.

He opted for taking the middle path. “It’s just that I’m less popular in general than you seem to think I am. Therefore, I don’t talk to very many people, and few of those people are, well, girls. That’s partly – mostly – my fault, and last night I basically dreamed about why that is the case.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t… really want to… you know, talk about it…” Hiccup replied weakly. He was still being cautious despite feeling much more comfortable talking to Astrid now. “Let’s just say mistakes were made, and barriers were created to prevent it from happening again.”

“Oh… I see… I understand if you don’t want to talk about it. As long as you’re ok now, I guess I’m content. Of course, I’ll want to know if this starts becoming a problem instead of just a single disruption.”

“Fair enough, I suppose. I fell asleep in Spanish because I woke up several times last night, but my little nap didn’t exactly help me, because I ended up dreaming about the same thing…” Hiccup let out a half-hearted chuckle.

“Well, I’m not going to pry,” Astrid assured him.

“I appreciate it,” Hiccup replied as they separated once more upon reaching the auditorium.

Hiccup wandered up to the tech booth and took a real nap that period, even though there was work that he could have done. He just had no inclination to be awake at the moment. Thus he sat in his chair at the light board, sat as far back as the seat would allow, and closed his eyes…

_A face framed by shoulder-length blonde hair, an arm reaching towards him. Backing away quickly when he felt a hand on his ass. The confused look on her (admittedly pretty) face when he said he didn’t want her to touch him, or even speak to him…_

Hiccup woke up once again to find Astrid looking over at him. “Gah! Would you stop that?” He cried out, somewhat indignantly.

“Stop what?” Astrid was confused.

“Looking at me while I’m sleeping. It’s weird.”

“Ah. Sorry… I didn’t have anything to do today, so I decided to come look for you. I found you sleeping, and I was about to leave when you mumbled ‘No, that makes me feel really uncomfortable, please stop’ in your sleep. I turned around, and then you woke up,” she explained.

“Well, if it was an accident, then I forgive you,” Hiccup replied, partly pretentiously magnanimously.

“But seriously, Hiccup, what were you dreaming about? Was it the same thing as last night and in Spanish?”

“No, this one happened later. If my life was a book, it might classify as crucial backstory, but we both know that’s not the case.” Hiccup was trying to humor his way out of explaining.

As usual, Astrid saw right through him. “Well, then let’s develop your character a bit,” she replied, playing along with his jest for the moment.

“I don’t think I want to.”

“Spill,” she commanded. “Hiccup, I can tell that this is bothering you, and I know that you are probably worried about what will happen if you tell anyone, but it is far better for you to let it out than to allow it to fester inside of you. I’m worried about what might happen to you if you don’t release it.”

Hiccup let out a sigh of defeat. “You really want to know that bad? Fine then… two years ago, I was sexually harassed.” Seeing the look on her face change from expectant to shocked, he continued: “I know what you’re probably thinking: ‘But men don’t get sexually harassed’ or something along those lines. I am obviously a living debunking of that idea.”

“What happened?”

“There was a girl in my grade named Helga. She was – and probably still is – a popular girl. She dated the football team, one at a time, that is, and she actually looked a bit like you: blonde hair, the same general figure, though she was a bit taller than you. But why do I remember those details? I am not really sure. I would have thought that I would forget the memories of a girl who I was most definitely not attracted to, considering what she did… I’m rambling, aren’t I? I’m sorry…”

“No, no, it’s fine. I want to hear this, Hiccup, just as much as you need to tell someone. I don’t mind your rambling at all,” she added with an encouraging smile.

“Very well. Where was I? Oh, right. I had met Helga in seventh grade, but I never saw her until eighth grade. One day, I was walking down the hall and she made some lewd comments about me and the one friend I had at that school. Now, I understand that it takes repetition to make it harassment, and so I brushed it off. Over time, the comments became worse and worse, until I couldn’t ignore them any longer. So I politely asked her to stop. She said she was only trying to be friendly, and I replied that I did not want her friendship if that was what it was going to involve. The next day, when we passed in the hall, she put her hand on my arm and rubbed it a bit suggestively. I backed away and told her – a bit less politely, this time – to leave me alone.”

“And did she?”

“Well, for the most part. I still caught her throwing looks at me when my gaze happened to be focused on something in her half of any space we happened to share, but I could deal with that. Then one day she actually walked up to me and grabbed my butt. Without going into any detail, because that’s not a place I’m willing to go just yet, I was not mentally prepared for any contact of that sort, and I nearly tripped over a desk trying to get away. She followed me, but I told her that if she tried to touch to me again, I would not be afraid to cause trouble for her with the powers that be. She left me alone after that.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Why should you be? You had nothing to do with it, and it is long over. If anything, it is I who am sorry for you, because you’ve probably had to deal with worse shit than I did.”

“Only cat-calling for me, fortunately.”

“Ok, well, the argument still stands that as a general rule, most women have it worse than men. I hate it, especially my small part in it.”

Before Astrid could ask him about his last comment, a couple of her acting friends entered the booth. “There you are! We were wondering why you crept off,” the first one said.

“Yeah, we were worried… wait,” the second one said, noticing Hiccup for the first time. “Why are you up here alone with _Hiccup_? There are so many better guys you could be up here alone with than him.”

Hiccup cringed a bit, although he was pretty used to it. He supposed he would be wondering the same thing as this girl – Gudrun, her name was – if he had stumbled upon Astrid alone in a relatively secluded room with a guy as, shall we say, unhandsome, as himself.

“Gudrun… we’re in _school_ … Besides, Hiccup and I are good friends, and he was just telling me how his day had been going so far. He had said earlier that there was something he wanted to talk to me about, but then he disappeared, so I had to go find him. That’s all.”

Gudrun’s eyebrow rising was the only response Astrid received.

“Look, I know it seems suspicious, but you know me: I have never given anybody the opportunity to label themselves as my boyfriend. Besides, I would most likely get kicked out of everything I’m involved in if I did have sex during school hours, as you seem to be implying.”

“Alright, fine. Anyways, Mrs. Mandoth wants to talk to you about the scene with you and Gustavus. You know, the one where you dance for like, five minutes,” Gudrun said, the last bit a pointed jab at Hiccup.

Astrid sent an apologetic look at Hiccup as she allowed herself to be pulled out of the booth by Gudrun and her friend. Hiccup was relieved that she was gone, but also sad. He had enjoyed being with her, even if the subject matter of their conversation was uncomfortable for him to talk about. He was relieved that she wouldn’t be able to ask him about the last thing he said, because he was in no way prepared to divulge the details of the Sixth Grade Debacle just yet. Not even under threat of torture, which he was sure Astrid would be capable of, not that the fact besmirched her character in any way.

He looked at the time and saw that there were only five minutes left of the school day, so he pulled out his phone and turned on his music, setting it to ‘random selection’. The first song that played was "I Am a Rock", by Simon & Garfunkel. It had been one of his favorite songs all those years ago. His favorite line was

“Don't talk of love,  
But I've heard the word before;  
It's sleeping in my memory.  
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.  
If I never loved, I never would have cried.”

The entire day seemed like Fate decided to throw all of his bad memories at him in one go just to make him miserable. Sleep was no refuge for him, and being awake meant that  
he had to feel those awful feelings. A small part of him wanted to find some sort of medicine to knock him out for a day or so, just to escape it all, but he knew he couldn’t actually go through with any plan of that sort. What would Tuffnut and Fishlegs think? What would Astrid think?

Hiccup was surprised that he had thought about Astrid, as he wasn’t used to thinking about girls in any sort of companionable way, but the more he thought about it, the more he felt as if she could help him feel better. He had felt decently alright when he had been talking to her earlier, hadn’t he?

He removed himself from his chair and left the booth. He found Astrid talking with Mrs. Mandoth and Gustavus, so he walked within earshot to wait for her to finish.

“… And then I want you two to kiss, right before you separate at the end of the scene…”

Hiccup was devastated inside. He had no idea why his insides reacted the way they had, but he felt like he had just experienced an emotional blitzkrieg. He turned and left the auditorium, the end-of-school bell ringing as he exited.

Astrid had seen him standing nearby, and she also saw him walking away, a look of hurt on his face after the kiss was mentioned, but like Hiccup, she wasn’t sure why. She excused herself from the conversation, school being over as it was, and followed after Hiccup. She rode the bus home from school, but she determined that it would be better to talk to Hiccup and walk home than to not do so and leave Hiccup to be a seemingly emotional mess alone.

“Hiccup, wait!” Astrid called as she caught up to him. He turned and looked at her while she continued. “What’s wrong? I saw you walk away looking like you were sucker punched or something.”

“I… it’s nothing you need to worry about, Astrid,” he asserted. “It’s nothing I haven’t dealt with before. I can handle it.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. Now go catch your bus!”

Astrid almost ran to the bus area, only to see her bus pull away without her. She turned around and walked back to Hiccup. “I missed it. How do you get home?”

“I walk.”

“Oh. How far is it?” She questioned him as they started walking out of the school building.

“Three miles, give or take a bit.”

“Oh my gods. Why?”

“Because my parents are busy in the mornings, and if I woke up for the bus I would miss out on about forty-five minutes of sleep, so Fishlegs’ mom picks me up on their way to school. I walk home because otherwise I would get very little exercise, and Fishlegs has Zoology club right afterschool, which, frankly, I don’t really care for. So yeah, I walk.”

Astrid looked at him for a moment. “Well, looks you’ve got company today. For part of the way, at least. I think I live a couple streets away from you.”

“Alright then. Shall we?” Hiccup opened the main door for her and gestured in the general direction of their homes. Astrid chuckled and they started walking home.

-

When Hiccup got home, his cat, Toothless, was at the door waiting for him. “Yeah, yeah, you grumpy cat… I’m sorry I took longer than usual… I was walking with a friend.”  
Toothless looked unimpressed. “Don’t give me that look… Yes, she wanted to be walking with me. Why would you think otherwise? I’ll have you know that I am considered very attractive by the female community as a whole. Stop laughing at me, stupid. I haven’t seen you with any lady cats either.”

Toothless jumped onto a table and butted his head against Hiccup’s arm. “Thanks, bud. We can be single together, it’s fine,” He laughed lightly, but the laughter died quickly and was replaced by a more pensive mood. “I don’t know, bud… I heard that she’s going to have to kiss someone today, and I felt a bit betrayed, I guess… I shouldn’t be feeling like that, I know. No need to give me that look. It’s not like we’re ever going to be anything more than friends, and besides, she’s my only female friend, so even if I _did_ want anything more, which I don’t, I couldn’t act on it because it would ruin what is turning into a great friendship.”

Toothless purred as Hiccup stroked his head. “Thanks for listening, bud. Let’s go check your food bowl, eh?” Hiccup put down his backpack and walked into the kitchen. Toothless’ bowl was stilled fine, so Hiccup switched out his water before heading upstairs to read for a bit before dinner. As he walked up the stairs, Simon & Garfunkel played on his phone once again, and Hiccup remembered why he had taught himself not to feel anything, and that this general situation was very similar to how it had started last time...


	5. Confusion and Emptiness (or, Hiccup doesn't know what to do)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a good deal shorter (wordwise) than the previous ones, because I decided that it would be easier to shoot for about 2,000 words per chapter instead of 3,000. It's probably easier for you to read, as well, and it also means I might be able to update more frequently. Anyways, here's chapter 5 for you to enjoy!
> 
> Inspiring Song: "Everyday" by Buddy Holly

Days passed, and Hiccup’s past did not resurface to haunt him again after that day. For one thing, he was able to effectively block out thoughts that caused his melancholy. For another, he was too busy to be losing sleep over something like that. His de jure work on the production had started, and Hiccup was constantly moving lights around and recording the settings for the different scenes. It was a bit labor-intensive, but he consoled himself with the thought that in two years he would be the one sitting up in the booth directing the underclassmen on how to move the lights without doing any of it himself. It was a pretty nice system, all things considered. The more junior crew members gained the technical experience they needed for when they were senior crew members and had other members under their direction.

Astrid, for her part, was equally busy with her part in the play. She had landed a major role, playing the part of the popular girl everyone ‘likes’ but who only wants to go back to the way she was before she became popular. The more she thought about it, the more she empathized with the character (her name was Skye). It was interesting, because Astrid wanted the things that made her popular – being an important volleyball player, an excellent actress, as well as intelligent and beautiful – without any of the ‘perks’. She didn’t want the expectations, stresses, and obligations that come with being popular.

Compounding upon this was the fact that she had two types of friends with whom she could discuss this… issue…. The first type was her fellow popular friends: Heather and Tuffnut. She could commiserate with them, but she couldn’t really engage in any stimulating conversation directed at solutions other than “don’t be popular.” The other type was Hiccup. Granted, he couldn’t exactly constitute a ‘type’ on his own, per se, but he certainly was not like Astrid’s female friends. Beyond the more… obvious… differences, Hiccup was usually good at finding other solutions. The circuitous paths his mind took meant that he was adept at looking at things from different angles and coming up with less obvious solutions or reasoning.

She didn’t really want to talk about it with him, though. She wasn’t even sure why. Every time she had a chance to, there was something holding her back, something she was never able to identify. But that never stopped her from her normal interaction with him, just that it kept her from opening the subject.

The days turned into weeks, all passing in a blur before their eyes. Before they were ready, it was the opening night of the show. Astrid was in the scene shop behind the stage, doing the pre-show rituals that the Drama Guild did. As far as Hiccup knew, it was inspiring for a bit, then it became depressing. He knew that because although he was not allowed into the shop at that time, the stage manager (who sat up in the tech booth during the show to monitor things) always came up crying, or at least red-eyed and sad. Hiccup supposed it had something to do with the seniors – again, something he had inferred from a snippet of conversation he overheard.

Hiccup was simply standing at the light board, looking at the people who were entering the auditorium. He always tried to find as many people as he could whom he knew, but he was always disappointed when they didn’t see him up in the booth (as it was above the ground level of the auditorium) and wave hello. So he watched, making mental notes of where people were sitting and wondering if he would be able to talk to some of them during intermission. He hadn’t during the musical last year, but that may have been because he was new to the school back then. He hoped that he was more well-known now, but he supposed he would just have to wait and find out.  
Finally, it was time for the play to start. The stage manager gave him the signal to flash the auditorium lights a couple of times as a warning that the show would begin momentarily; shortly thereafter, the lights went down and the curtain opened as the eight main actors took their places in a line near the edge of the stage. Everything being set, they spoke the opening lines in unison: “ _O great high school social scene gods…_ ”

Through problem and resolution, all eight characters underwent some profound change. The ‘stupid’ jock and the ‘shy girl’ ended up together; the nerd and the popular girl as well. The social queen bee and the theatre fanatic became friends again; the stoner and the depressed kid came to an understanding. All-in-all, no-one ended the way they started – an accurate depiction of life, Hiccup thought – although it was quite over exaggerated (not that it was unusual, being drama, after all).  
Three and a half hours later, Hiccup was at home in his bed, the adrenaline still rushing through him from the show. He collapsed onto his bed and just laid there for a while, reflecting on how the performance had gone.

The show was repeated the two following nights (a Friday and Saturday), and each performance outdid the one previous. When it was over, Hiccup felt a sense of emptiness. You see, Hiccup had two things going on in his life: band and theatre. Marching Band was over for the year, and now that the play was finished, Hiccup had nothing to do after school ended other than to go home and do his homework. And play his computer games. And do a little designing. And write. And draw. But still, there was nothing for him to do, and he felt the sense of loss that accompanied the closing of any of his projects, especially one as big as the play.

Astrid, however, felt pleased – not only had she done an outstanding job playing her part, but the show as a whole was a great success. Yes, she was a bit sad that it was over, but so was everyone else. She had decided her freshman year that she wouldn’t let the sadness get to her until maybe her senior year. She still had volleyball to keep her occupied, as well. She didn’t have time for any negative emotions. It wasn’t in her nature to allow any emotion rule her, anyways.

As she was walking to her parents’ car after the Saturday performance, a certain male walked up to her. He didn’t look familiar, but her gut told her that he was probably a shady character.

“Hey, girl. You look nice this fine evening.”

“What do you want?” Astrid brusquely replied.

“I just want to give you something, calm down. Both I and a friend of mine would like to talk to you sometime.” With that, he shoved a piece of paper into her hand and walked away.

Astrid unfolded the paper and looked at it. There were two phone numbers on it, as well as two names. The first name was Gustav Larson, the second was Snotlout Jorgenson. She had seen the guy who had approached her at the beginning of the year around at school, and she guessed (correctly, as it turned out) that he was Snotlout. That meant that the other guy had to be Gustav – an easy thing to discern, given that his jacket said “Larson” on the back. She decided right then that she disliked Gustav as much as she detested Snotlout, both for what he had tried to do to her and for what she guessed he had actually done to Hiccup. With an irritated snort, she threw the paper away and proceeded to finish the walk to her parents’ car, unaware that two raven-haired boys were watching her from behind a corner of the school building.

They exchanged angry looks when they saw Astrid throw away their contact information, but they couldn’t do anything about it; not with Astrid’s parents, Erika and Hrothgar – both former Marines – waiting for her. They slipped away into the growing darkness as Astrid climbed into the car and drove away.

As she was going home, she texted Hiccup about what had happened, as the two of them had exchanged phone numbers the day they had walked home together.

_Hey, Hiccup. What’s up?_  
_Not much, just lying in bed reading. You?_  
_On my way home. Had an incident after you left school. What’cha reading?_  
_Oh. What happened? And I’m reading some poems a friend of mine at my old school wrote._  
_Cool. Anyways, some guy gave me some phone numbers_  
_Number s?_  
_Yeah_  
_That’s weird… do you know whose numbers they were?_  
_Gustav Larson and Snotlout Jorgenson_  
_Don’t know Gustav, but I strongly dislike Snotlout_  
_You know him?_  
_He’s in my math class… gods know how he managed to get into it. He’s an idiot, by all accounts._  
_Yep… I think he was the one who was incredibly rude to me the second day of school_  
_What did he do? If you don’t mind me asking_  
_He basically tried to force himself into my group of friends_  
_That’s not ok_  
_I shut him down real fast, but I had thought that he would have taken the hint…_  
_Some guys are just stupid like that. I speak from great experience, haha_  
_Right… because you would never give up on a girl you like_  
_… I’m deeply hurt, Astrid. There are, like, three different ways to interpret that, and none of them are particularly flattering… :)_  
_What’s that supposed to mean? That I just insulted you three times in one go? Achievement Unlocked! Lol_  
_Haha No… at this point, I basically have an iron skin when it comes to insults_  
_That’s good. Means that I can diss you all I want and you’ll keep coming back for more! :)_  
_I didn’t say that… but if it makes you feel better about yourself, then go right ahead_  
_Hey!_  
_You didn’t tell me that I couldn’t wing some stuff your way. You’ve gotta be able to take some hits if you’re gonna dish ‘em out, haha_  
_Alright, fine, lol You’d be a decent lawyer, haha_  
_Nah… that’s Dad’s job. I don’t want to be a lawyer. Maybe a judge, though. Serving justice sounds intriguing…_  
_Well, as long as you’ll grant me immunity, I’ll show up in your court the next time I kill someone, lol_  
_Wait… next time…?_  
_Yeah. I’ll have probably already killed Gustav and Snotlout before you become a judge_  
_Ah, I see…_  
_Yep_  
_Anyways, Dad’s calling me down for something, gotta go_  
_Alright, see you Monday_  
_Oh, yeah… school is still a thing, lol see ya_

The conversation had carried through Astrid’s preparations for bed, and by the time Hiccup had to go, Astrid had been lying in her bed for several minutes. After they were done talking, Astrid fell asleep.

Stoick had wanted to ask Hiccup about the play, so Hiccup fended off several questions before Stoick released him back up to his room.

Don’t get the impression that Hiccup didn’t have a good relationship with his dad, because he did. It was just that this particular night, Hiccup didn’t exactly want to talk to his dad – a normal thing for kids his age to experience. Stoick knew that, and when he saw that Hiccup was starting to chafe at being held up, he ended his questioning.  
Hiccup went back upstairs, and re-read the conversation with Astrid over and over again, confused by what he was seeing. On the one hand, he thought – _thought_ , mind you – that Astrid might have been flirting with him a bit. On the other hand, he could tell that Gustav’s ridiculously obvious attempt to hit her up had pissed her off a good deal, and he didn’t want to compound upon that feeling by making yet another unwelcome advance.

The more he thought about it, the more difficult it became for him to find a clear solution. At some point, he even lost track of how he felt about Astrid. He was no longer sure if she was just a friend to him, or if he wanted something more, or if he even liked her at all. That last one was a particularly ugly thought, and Hiccup swiftly banished it. But the fact remained that Hiccup was becoming increasingly involved, and that involvement was leading to a tangled knot of emotions he did not have the experience to sort out. Stoick’s ‘encouragement’ of the idea of a girlfriend for Hiccup certainly didn’t help things, especially the day when Astrid had walked home with him. Stoick had gently teased him to no end about that one.

With a frustrated sigh, Hiccup turned off the light in his room and went to sleep.


	6. Rocking the Boat (or, our poor fools start actually doing things)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to get moving, although perhaps not in the direction we might be hoping for. Anyways, this story is straying farther and farther from my original inspiration, but I'm not going to stop. It'll just be more fictionalized than I was intending. Just in case anyone was wondering, which you probably weren't, but whatever. It's fine.
> 
> Again, comments and formatting/grammar suggestions are always welcome.
> 
> Inspiring Song: (I Just) Died In Your Arms by Cutting Crew

The Monday afterwards, Hiccup helped to deconstruct the set for the play. He was still a bit emotionally drained, and didn’t do much more than following the directions given to him. He usually wouldn’t be fully functioning until the Wednesday after. We will leave Hiccup to his drudgery, then, and zoom the camera of 3rd person narratives in on Astrid.

Astrid wasn’t faring too much better. Having held one of the lead roles, she was – justifiably – somewhat upset that it was over as well. However, being the strong young woman she was, she picked herself up (metaphorically) and continued on with her life. Auditions for the musical were only a week or two away, and she was determined to be cast as the lead role, or as close to it as possible. Wednesday found her with an audition packet already practicing, which Hiccup was incredulous about. He didn’t start working on the musical in his official capacity until the last week of January, and here was Astrid, making him help her practice during every free minute they had to spare. He thought it was bordering insanity. She thought it was demonstrative of a stronger work ethic.

They talked about it, once, before Hiccup realized that it wasn’t a point worth arguing. So he ducked his head, took his lumps, and got on with his life. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy spending the time with Astrid, far from it. He just intensely disliked that _particular_ excerpt. Fortunately for him, he didn’t have to help her audition. She had found someone else without a partner for the audition, and they did it together. Astrid simply preferred to practice with Hiccup (most of the time, that is. She did practice with her audition partner, because going in without any practice is hardly the way to go) because she had found that she really enjoyed being with him. She especially appreciated the sarcastic little comments he made whenever one of them made a mistake.

Hiccup, for his part, was delighted to learn that Astrid genuinely wanted to spend time with him. He was used to being largely alone, so the idea of another person being around almost constantly – they texted quite frequently after school ended – was still foreign, although not entirely unwelcome. Hiccup gradually began acting more and more naturally (saying what he meant, instead of being deliberately vague, circumspect, or overly sarcastic, which were a few of his defense mechanisms) around Astrid. He was still a “sarcastic little shit,” in his own words, but he felt relaxed enough to be straightforward, as well.

_Hey_  
_Oh, hey. What’s up?_  
_Not much, just replaying my audition over and over in my head._  
_Was it that bad?_  
_That’s the problem. I don’t know_  
_I see… That’s why I don’t do acting, lol I’m sure you couldn’t have done too badly, though. As much as it pains me to admit it, you are a really good actress._  
_Thanks, Hiccup. I still don’t think that I’ll get the part I’m hoping for._  
_You’re going for Dorothy, right?_  
_Yep_  
_That’ll be fun. I have total confidence in your ability to bullshit your way through almost any situation._  
_*raises eyebrow*_  
_I-I mean… you could bullshit your way through every situation, i-if you had to. I have complete faith that you don’t actually have to bullshit your way through anything, Astrid. Plz don’t kill me…_  
_Nah, I’ll keep you around, lol I need your sarcasm sometimes._  
_I live to serve, m’lady_  
_Your lady, hmm? Interesting proposition…_  
_Well, you aren’t anyone’s lady, but I think it might be fair to claim a certain… association…_  
_And what, pray tell, might that be?_  
_Um… I was thinking… good friend?_  
_Hiccup… did you just promote me into your inner circle?_  
_Yeah, I guess I did… Welcome to the Inner Circle! Population: Two_  
_Two?_  
_You and Tuffnut_  
_Ah, gotcha_  
_Yeah… So when do you find out what part you got?_  
_Tomorrow_  
_Oh, yikes. That’s pretty soon. I’d wait at least until Friday, maybe keep it over the weekend. Give people some time to stew in anxiety before the big reveal, you know?_  
_You’re horrible, you know?_  
_I accepted that long ago, lol_  
_Fair enough_  
_Yeah, haha_  
_Anyways, I’m going to head to bed now. Goodnight, Hiccup_  
_Goodnight_

Hiccup lay in bed thinking for a fair while after Astrid went to bed. He thought about many things: school, his next move in the board game he was playing by himself (yes, Hiccup was alone enough to play multiplayer games by himself), and Astrid. Definitely a lot of thinking about Astrid happened before he finally drifted off to sleep.

The next day, Hiccup went straight to the Scene Shop door, where the audition results were posted, and saw that Astrid wasn’t on the list. He was struck speechless for a moment. How could Astrid Hofferson, one of the best – no, _the_ best actress – in the entirety of the Drama Guild, not get a part?

At that moment, Astrid burst out of the Scene Shop with one of the angriest faces Hiccup had ever seen her wearing. Without a single thought about the potential for bodily harm if he went after her, he followed. 

“Astrid?” He queried as he caught up to her. 

“What do you want, Hiccup?” She snapped in reply. 

“Sorry… I just wanted to see if you were ok, and if there was anything I could do to help if you weren’t…” 

“You can leave me alone, for starters.” Seeing the hurt look starting to form on Hiccup’s face, she softened and backtracked. “Sorry, Hiccup… My parents just really wanted me to be cast as Dorothy, and I did too. Finding out that I didn’t even get a part made me really upset.” 

“It’s fine. I understand. I’ll leave you alone, if you want me to.” 

“I would, thanks. I’ll talk to you in Spanish, alright?” 

“Sounds good. See you later, Astrid,” Hiccup called as he walked back the way he had come. 

“Goodbye, Hiccup…” Astrid spoke to the now-empty hallway. 

Hours later, in Spanish, Hiccup and Astrid finally talked to each other again. Astrid apologized once more for pushing him away, and Hiccup accepted it without a single contrary thought. They spoke about Astrid’s plans now that she didn’t have a part in the musical – well, Astrid talked and Hiccup listened, mostly. 

“I think I’m going to boycott the Drama Guild until next year. Let’s see how they do without me for the musical and One-Acts. They’ll be begging me to come back by the fall play,” Astrid mused. She had been carrying on like that for the past five minutes. 

Finally, Hiccup had taken enough of the vengeful thoughts. “Look, Astrid, you’re probably going to hate what I’m about to say, but I’m going to say it because I think you need to hear it: Maybe there is a reason that you weren’t given a part.” 

“Are you saying that I’m not good enough, Hiccup?” There was a threatening look on her face. 

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that there is a reason for everything, and it wouldn’t be, well, right to seek vengeance for a perceived wrong without first understanding why it happened to begin with.” 

Astrid’s countenance darkened even further. “Are _you_ presuming to give _me_ life advice? Because you aren’t really a stellar person to serve as a role model.” 

Hiccup lost his cool for a second, in complete shock at the aggression she had just displayed, and that was all that was needed for him to make possibly the worst decision he had made in his entire high school career thus far. “I would know a damn sight more than most,” He replied, his normally calm voice filled with anger and hurt. “Just because I have hardly any friends doesn’t mean that I don’t know how the world works. I know that you’re Little Miss Perfect to your parents and everyone else, but that means nothing other than being an indication of naïveté.” 

Here he transitioned from derision to righteous anger and arrogance, which he almost never let out. “I have read, and therefore experienced, more than you probably will in your entire perfect little life. I have been murdered, abandoned at the altar, shipwrecked, and betrayed more than Sinbad the Sailor could ever know. You think I don’t know how the world works? You think I don’t know wisdom? I really thought that you were different, you know. I thought you wanted to be my friend because you wanted to be my friend. I’m sure that you have at least one real friend, so I won’t remind you what the responsibilities that go with it are. I will say that I am deeply hurt, Astrid. You were the first – and only – new person this year to talk to me, remember my name, to treat me like I was an actual person. But now, when I’m trying to help you, you don’t show me the respect that every human deserves.” 

And with that, he looked pointedly away from Astrid, put in his headphones, and turned on his music for the last few minutes of the period. 

_"Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight_  
_It must have been something you said_  
_I just died in your arms tonight_

_I keep looking for something I can't get_  
_Broken hearts lie all around me_  
_And I don't see an easy way to get out of this_  
_Her diary it sits on the bedside table_  
_The curtains are closed, the cats in the cradle_  
_Who would've thought that a boy like me could come to this?_

_Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight_  
_It must've been something you said_  
_I just died in your arms tonight_  
_Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight_  
_It must've been some kind of kiss_  
_I should have walked away, I should have walked away_

_Is there any just cause for feeling like this?_  
_On the surface I'm a name on a list_  
_I try to be discreet but then blow it again_  
_I've lost and found, it's my final mistake_  
_She's loving by proxy, no give and all take_  
_'Cos I've been thrilled to fantasy one too many times_

_Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight_  
_It must've been something you said_  
_I just died in your arms tonight_  
_Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight_  
_It must’ve been some kind of kiss_  
_I should have walked away, I should have walked away_

_It was a long hot night_  
_She made it easy, she made it feel right_  
_But now it's over the moment has gone_  
_I followed my hands not my head, I knew I was wrong_

_Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight_  
_It must’ve been something you said_  
_Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight_  
_Must’ve been some kind of kiss_  
_I should have walked away, I should have walked away"_

Hiccup thought that it was the perfect song for how he was feeling at the moment. The bell rang very shortly after the song was over, and he left without saying a single word to Astrid until Drama Class, towards the end of that period. When he came to his senses during lunch, he realized what a terrible mistake he had made. Who was he to speak of wisdom when he had lost his temper and alienated one of his two close friends? Hiccup buried his face in his hands with shame, and dared not to speak to anyone until Drama, when he resolved to speak to Astrid in order to apologize. 

To that end, he walked into the Scene Shop, where they worked, and made to go over to where Astrid was. He was stopped by Tuffnut before he could get to her, though, and he was pulled away to help with some grunt work being done in anticipation of the set’s completion. Emerald City was looking like it would be a fun challenge to tackle, but right now, all Hiccup wanted to do was to apologize profusely to Astrid, and then be alone to deal with the rejection that he was expecting. However, it was a while (most of the period, actually) before he had the opportunity to talk to her. When he had finished his work he went looking for her, and found her talking to Mrs. Mandoth, so he had to wait for them to finish. Out of respect, he waited out of earshot, so he had no idea why it was that Astrid immediately walked up to him once her talk was over. 

As soon as she was close enough for polite conversation, Hiccup began his apology. “Hey, Astrid, I’m sorry about what I said to you earlier. It was completely uncalled-for, and the only excuse I have is that I was afraid that you were going to kick me to the curb like everyone else does, and I wanted to just get it over with, if that’s what was going to happen.” 

To his great surprise, she merely smiled and said, “Apology accepted, Hiccup.” 

“Um, what?” 

“I accept your apology. I realized that what you had said was right, and that’s why I was talking to Mrs. Mandoth. And guess what!” 

“What?” 

“She’s making me the Stage Manager!” 

“That’s awesome! But wouldn’t you rather be acting?” 

“Not after hearing Mrs. Mandoth speaking about it. Plus, I’ll get to tell off all the actors, which is going to be great!” 

“I’m happy for you, then,” Hiccup said, and he meant it. “Are we friends again, then?” 

“We never stopped, Hiccup.” 

And with that, the end-of-school bell rang, and they went their separate ways out of the school. As Hiccup left, his thoughts were mostly about how relieved he was that Astrid had allowed him to remain as her friend. 

Astrid, on the other hand, was impressed with how Hiccup had carried himself. He had been open and honest with her, unlike the usual crowd of boys she knew, who would never own up to something like that under any circumstance. _I think he likes me_ , she thought as she boarded her bus and saw Hiccup walking down the sidewalk to his house past the row of buses. The interesting thing was that she wasn’t entirely opposed to the idea… 


End file.
